You may have asked yourself “why start and invest on therapy when I can simply talk to a friend?”, or “is therapy any different than talking to friend?”.
In summary, in some ways, therapy may feel similar to talking with a good friend with whom you share a healthy and supportive relationship. However, it is completely a different process. First, therapy is confidential, so unless your therapist believes you or others are at risk, whatever you share with your therapist will stay just between the two of you. Also, in therapy, you are the one in charge: it is a safe space for you to experiment, pay attention to and make sense of your thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviours. In therapy, you will be with a professional who has your best interest in mind, and is trained to guide you in this process of self-discovery.
So let’s understand this a bit more…
Having people to share our experiences with is essential. Us, humans, we are social beings so we crave connection with others. This was made evident to everyone during our recent pandemic experiences. Many remember not being able to meet or spend time with our loved ones, which proved to have a great impact on everyone’s overall well being, and especially on one’s mental health.
Certainly, talking to friends can really make us feel better. A healthy friendship can make you laugh out loud, provides emotional support, could offer new insights for a situation you are experiencing, and make you feel valued and appreciated. Together you may reminisce about life events you shared, and talk about mutual acquaintances. You might even use your time together to make plans for the future. Ultimately, talking to a friend decreases feelings of loneliness by making you feel connected to another person.
But is talking to a friend the same as talking to a professional?
In some ways talking to your therapist may feel like talking to a good friend. When you encounter a good professional, you will feel safe opening up about many different topics, similarly as you would with a good friend. Your therapist will support you to reflect upon different topics, which might make you have a new perspective on a situation you have been dwelling on. You will probably even see yourself in a new light and uncover strengths you were not fully aware you had, and you may also recognise some aspects of yourself you may be willing to change. These are reflections that can happen when you are talking to a good friend.
So, you may be asking: what is the difference then?
One main difference is that us, psychologists and psychotherapists, we are healthcare professionals, which means that anything you may discuss with your therapist is confidential. That is, they will not share your disclosures with anyone else unless required to do so (i.e. if you or others may be at risk). Even then when confidentiality must be broken, this will be discussed with you beforehand, unless it’s not possible to do so.
When you decide to start your therapeutic process, you will agree in advance a day and time and location you will meet your therapist (whether this is a physical room where you meet in person, or a virtual room for online sessions). You and your therapist will meet regularly, and during this period you will have their full undivided attention. Your therapist will be waiting for you in your allocated space whether or not you attend your session.
Some sessions may be easy and enjoyable, and others might make you angry or upset. The therapy room is an experimental space, meaning that whilst there you may have feelings as you would in your daily life, or you may experience new ones.
Therapy is your safe space, where you choose what you want to discuss. It is also where you are seen and acknowledged for who you are. Your therapist will listen to you, and see you in a safe space that is also free of judgments. To support you, your therapist might ask you questions to clarify what you are talking about, or to encourage you to reflect on a specific topic. They aslo may challenge some of your beliefs and thoughts.
You will bring to therapy your knowledge of yourself, and they will bring their non-judgmental perspectives and theoretical knowledge. This means that you will both work collaboratively to help you feel more connected to your unique and authentic self.
If this post resonates with you, therapy could be the next step. You are welcome to get in touch to begin your therapeutic journey.
